Q: Background: I, a 21-year-old male, enjoy receptive fisting. I’ve additionally had constipation problems all my life. Question: I saw my physician recently, and also he tried to connect my enjoyment of anal sex to mine constipation. (Granted, i didn’t phone call him every little thing I do down there.) My knowledge was the there was no causal relationship, suspect no major injuries occur. Is there something ns don’t know? was my doctor just trying to it is in helpful? —Fearing within Sanctum Tarnished

A: “There are many myths about anal sex, but this is the very first time i have heard this one,” stated Dr. Peter Shalit, a doctor in Seattle and a member of the Gay and Lesbian clinical Association.

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It’s likewise the very first time i have heard anyone combine fisting through constipation—typically when fisting is discussed in the very same sentence together constipation, FIST, it’s as a cure. Yet it’s a myth that fisting cures constipation, the course, just as the a myth that anal sex is inherently dangerous.

“Fisting is a safe activity, detailed that both the top and bottom space sober at the time,” said Shalit. “It does not cause damage or constipation or any type of other form of bowel problem. The same uses to other anal sex-related activities. Over there is a misconception that these tasks can cause damage by stretching or tearing the tissue, once actually the anus is very elastic.”

Despite the fact that millions safely interact in anal play, countless people believe that anal play walk irreparable harm to the anus—or the soul—and that, sadly, consists of many doctors.

“If a human suffers from constipation, that need to be addressed as its very own problem and not blamed top top any kind of anal sex-related activity,” claimed Shalit.

Finally, FIST, if you don’t feeling comfortable informing your doctor whatever you’re doing “down there,” you have the right to look for a brand-new doctor under “find a provider” at GLMA.org.

Q: I’m a 35-year old right male, involved to mine girlfriend that eight years. If we have a good sex life, she regularly won’t allow me finger or lick her. When she does, she enjoys it and also easily climaxes if receiving oral sex. But her higher brain functions acquire in the way, as she has actually internalized our culture’s human body shaming. She has likened me “sticking mine nose under there” come “sticking mine head in the toilet.” Whenever i sexy-talk about licking her, she reacts v a mood-killing “eww.” but she states she would gain it if she might let me. I can’t do heads or tails the it! when we have sex, she cut foreplay short and gets straight to penetration. She feeling pleasure and also moans, yet she really does not value her own orgasm. However I do, and also I miss out on seeing her climax! ns wish i could help her overcome her body issues—but when I “use mine words,” she feel pressured and also can’t relax. I am in ~ a loss. Please help! —Loves Inhibited Carnal Killjoy

A: try again to usage your words—but don’t use them once you’re around to have sex, LICK. Do it at a neutral time once you can’t have actually sex, therefore she no feel choose you’re attempting to initiate by raising the subject. First, ask she if she appreciated oral when she allowed you to go down on her. If oral is pleasurable because that her as soon as she can allow you to go down on her, number out what to be different about those times—had she simply stepped out of the shower? was she a tiny tipsy or high?—and provide it another try.

Q: My boyfriend and also I simply got earlier from Berlin, and we had actually a great time—until the last night. There was a dark room in the basement that this gay bar, and also my boyfriend want to check it out and I go not. We are monogamous because that now—I’m open to opening points up down the road—and i didn’t check out the allude of going down there. Ns told him the drunk in a happy bar in ~ 3 AM no the right time to open up up ours relationship, and also he angrily insisted he wasn’t trying to do that. Yet if we’re monogamous and want to stay monogamous, why go into a dark room at all? —Dude right into Monogamy

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A: If that was her boyfriend’s intent to reopen negotiations about monogamy if horny guys circled girlfriend in a dark room, DIM, the wouldn’t it is in OK. However it is feasible for monogamous couples to go into sexually charged environments like dark rooms, sex parties, or swingers’ clubs and also emerge v their monogamous commitments intact. The advisable, even—or at least I’ve dispensed this advise to monogamous couples who want to save things hot—to visit those type of spaces. So following time, go down there. You could have come bat a couple of hands away, but once the other guys realize you two aren’t there because that anyone else, they’ll revolve their attentions to others who are. V

Download the Savage Lovecast every Tuesday at savagelovecast.com.

September 11, 2019In \"Columns & Opinion\"June 23, 2011In \"Columns & Opinion\"June 24, 2004In \"Columns & Opinion\"
Tagged: anal sex, Berlin, constipation, fisting, Gay and Lesbian medical Association, gay bar, GLMA.org, open relationship, Oral sex, Peter Shalit, polyamory, sex parties, swinging, Vol. 47 No. 28

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