“Sorry, geez. I didn’t know it was going to be together a huge deal.”“I’m sorry, however you really shouldn’t it is in so sensitive.”“I’m sorry if i hurt your feelings. Ns was just messing around.”“I’m sorry the happened, but, friend know, it yes, really wasn’t my fault.”

More 보다 likely, you’ve more than likely made a subpar apology yourself a time or two.

That’s for sure normal. Apologizing deserve to be tough, even when friend genuinely regret making a wrong or causing someone pain.

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Admitting a wrongdoing normally isn’t straightforward — specifically when doing so way acknowledging that you hurt who you treatment about.

You desire to make amends, but you can feel unsure about how. Girlfriend might also worry around saying the wrong thing and making matters worse.

Here’s the an excellent news: finding out to make a thank you very much apology no as complicated as it can sound, and we’re right here to overview you v the process. The 8 tips below will assist you handmade a natural, heartfelt apology come anyone in her life.


To make a great apology, you’ll want to an initial have a good understanding of where you walk wrong.

Regret is a crucial element of reliable apologies, however you’ll probably discover it an overwhelming to to express sincere regret when you don’t understand what you regret doing.

“I’m sorry for everything I did wrong,” and similarly generic apologies usually loss pretty flat — yet they can also lead to an ext conflict.

Recalling your mistake may not feeling all that pleasant, specifically when you understand you ache someone. If you currently feel guilty or disappointed in yourself, you could even stop thinking around it entirely. Remember, though: No issue how negative you feel, the other human likely feels worse. Failing to recognize their ache does them further injustice.

Here’s an example:

Your roommate seems irritated, yet you aren’t sure why they’d be mad. After providing it part thought, you notice a large box in the doorway and suddenly remember you promised to help rearrange your bedroom furniture to make room for a brand-new bookshelf. You immediately go to your room to apologize.

“I just realized ns forgot about helping you move your furniture. Ns so sorry. Work has actually been a tiny overwhelming lately, and it completely slipped mine mind. I know you wanted to get that excellent as soon as possible. Have the right to I help you v it appropriate now?”

Not sure specifically how girlfriend messed up? that happens, especially when you don’t understand someone all the well. That OK come ask exactly how you provided offense. Just know that some means of questioning are better 보다 others.

Instead of:

“All right, what walk I perform this time?”“What’s wrong v you today?”

Try:

“I’ve i found it our interactions have been a small different lately. Did I do something to cause that?”“Things it seems to be ~ a small off between us, and also I’d like to fix that. I’m wondering if ns did something to reason that distance?”

Then, really listen to what they have to say.


Apologies the contain qualifiers or justifications generally won’t acquire the task done.

Hint: complying with “I’m sorry” through “but” is never the way to go.

When friend rationalize her actions, you’re essentially passing the reprimand to another person. This sends the message that you don’t think you did noþeles wrong and gives your apology a ring the superficiality.

Even honest justifications can negate the sincerity of one apology you yes, really mean.

Say you apologizing come a co-worker for failing to finish a group assignment: “I’m sorry ns didn’t end up my share of the project by the deadline, however I simply can’t save up through this workload.”

That could be completely true. Still, the elements missing from her apology might leave her co-worker v some lingering hurt feelings.

Instead, you might say:

“I’m sorry i didn’t finish my re-publishing of the task by the deadline. I know that provides you watch bad, too, therefore I’ll describe what happened and also let everyone recognize it was totally on me. My workload critical month fully buried me, however I’ll asking for aid sooner following time.”


Acknowledging her mistake deserve to go a long method toward helping you convey remorse, however don’t protect against there. A thank you apology also involves empathy because that the human being you hurt, and also it’s necessary to acknowledge the pain her actions caused. (Here’s whereby a an excellent understanding of your actions will certainly come in handy.)

Consider this apology:

“I shouldn’t have commented on your hijab. Ns was curious around your religion, however that’s no excuse for making a disrespectful comment. Ns didn’t think about how the remark can make girlfriend feel, and I’m sorry for hurting you and making you uncomfortable.”

You’ll notice it contains an explanation: “I to be curious about your religion.”

Recognizing the difference between explanations and also justifications can assist you make a much more sincere and also effective apology.

To contrast, here’s a justification come avoid:

“I’m sorry because that asking about your hijab, but I was just curious. Ns didn’t realize it would bother friend so much.”

Unlike justifications, explanations provide some context roughly your actions. This context lets the other human being know you no intend to hurt them. It can additionally emphasize exactly how you intended to protect against the instance in the future.

For example:

“I’m sorry ns snapped in ~ you once you inquiry me around work. My mother was offering me a difficult time earlier about looking because that a brand-new job, so ns was already stressed. Yet that’s no pardon to take it the end on you, and I’ll occupational on regulating my stress better.”

Tip

Keeping explanations brief and to the suggest can assist you protect against taking castle too much and transforming them right into excuses.


Sure, you no intend to hurt anyone.

Still, in ~ the finish of the day, her intent regularly matters less than the impact of her actions.

You lied to your finest friend around their partner’s cheating since you wanted to defend them. But, through holding back this information, you refuse them the opportunity to do an notified decision around the relationship. You additionally betrayed your trust, which led to them even an ext pain.

When you apologize, girlfriend might mention you only wanted to protect them, however you’ll desire to monitor up this explanation by acknowledging the your dishonesty ended up law the exact opposite. Her apology should center on the pains you caused them, no the an excellent intentions behind her actions.

The human you wronged deserves the possibility to share their very own feelings, for this reason recognizing the influence of her mistake often entails some empathic listening. This may feel uncomfortable, but it’s critical step toward showing remorse.


Effective apologies involve an effort to begin repairing the situation.

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Sometimes, reparative habits is quite clear. Such as:

If you obtained your sister’s auto without asking and also got the filthy inside and also out, her apology can involve paying to have it cleaned and detailed. If friend rushed v a occupational assignment and also gave your supervisor a report containing incorrect information, you could commit to staying late to settle your mistakes.

Other times, you could need to ask, “What can I perform to make points right?” Then, display them you truly regret your actions by law what lock ask.


Generally speaking, the apology must fit the mistake. Too much reparations or behavior that goes above and past what castle asked of girlfriend might aid ease your guilt, however it i will not ~ necessarily have any benefits for the human you wronged.

It could even lead them to doubt her sincerity — ~ all, friend didn’t listen to your request.

Say someone stole her friend’s bike when you obtained it and left the unlocked. Lock send girlfriend a link to a secondhand version of the same bike and also ask girlfriend to purchase it together a replacement.

Instead, you select an entirely various (and much more expensive) brand-new model in an initiative to convey how truly sorry you are. Once you offer them the new bike, they don’t attempt to hide your disappointment and annoyance.

While you can imagine a lavish gesture, or one apology girlfriend repeat every time you check out them, mirrors your too much contriteness, it deserve to actually have actually a an unfavorable effect. Over-the-top apologies can seem mocking and insincere. They also tend to convey much more of her feelings than any type of recognition of the various other person’s pain.

Remember: The apology is because that them, not for you.


Requesting forgiveness is an important part of the apology, due to the fact that it offers the human being you wronged some company in the situation. In various other words, asking for forgiveness speak them you nothing assume they’ll automatically forgive you.

The process of forgiveness deserve to take time, and you might need to do some work, choose making amends and also addressing problematic behaviors, in stimulate to knife it. (Don’t forget the importance of self-forgiveness follow me the way.)

Keep in mind that forgiveness no guaranteed, no matter exactly how sincere her apology. That said, you’re more likely to earn it by make it clean you’ve important repented your actions and also made a serious initiative to change.


Apologies have the right to heal damage in relationship after failure or thoughtless behavior. However apologizing once you did nothing wrong, simply to protect against conflict, can impact your feeling of self-worth and also ultimately damage you.

Here’s something to consider: If a friend, partner, or family members member regularly expects girlfriend to take the reference for things you no do, they aren’t accepting duty for their mistakes or do amends for their wrongs.

You might think providing the an initial apology will certainly encourage them to carry out the same, but it’s still ideal to stop accepting blame when you no at fault.

One instance where you have nothing to apologize for? Rejecting who romantically. In fact, research argues that apologizing when you refuse someone may make them feeling worse.

A better option? it is in open and also kind:

“You’re sweet and funny, and also I’ve appreciated our dates. However we’re at various places in our lives, and also I just don’t check out this working out long-term. Relocating on now offers us both the possibility to find who we’re looking for.”